so much for dreaming

sobrang depressed lang ako,, di ko alam if its this med that im taking or the med that im taking up.. im just too tired of everything. im not happy with this. feel ko wala akong support system for this, even my man can't be there when i badly needed him. am i in a crisis?, or whatever. I would escape if i would have my destination, even if i have my destination pala, im sooooo tangled with this responsibility. im the one who finishes what i have started, im never the one to back down. pero given this blows,sucker punches syempre i get weak naman. human lang din naman ako e. i don't know if this is my advantage or not, im not the one who shares my pains, just suck it all up until its gone in my blackhole system. pero some things cannot be taken up, pero i can't live with this all the time.. mahirap, its like im fighting this stupid war against myself, wherein neither can win. stupid lang talaga. parang i am so paralyzed with this, pero i can move. i move against my will. ang hirap hirap, tas you can't live to the expectations, even my expectation for myself is not gratified i can't be happy with this. i want to stopppppppp